


try that again?

by erintoknow



Series: Aria [39]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Intimacy, Kissing, Massage, Non-Sexual Intimacy, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:39:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erintoknow/pseuds/erintoknow
Summary: meaningful communication is vital to a successful relationship, even if it means putting the breaks on sexy-times





	try that again?

You open your mouth to say something, but whatever it was is obliterated by the sensation of lips and teeth as she nips your ear lobe. She trails kisses down your neck.

Julia sucks at your neck and you can feel the vibrations your own throat is making against the skin of her lips. She finally pulls back after what feels like a far too quick forever and gives you a small smile, her face flush. “You good?”

You manage to get a hold of yourself well enough to frown. “I’m not some… helpless damsel. I can take it.”

She looks pointedly at you, with the tiniest of eye movement towards your your hands bound in front of you.

You puff up your cheeks, taking refuge from embarrassment via indignation. “Oh, you think you’re so clever.”

Julia waggles her eyebrows at you. “Only because I am.” She runs a hand down your arm, tracing the rope over your wrist and taking hold of the loose end hanging down between you two. Just the sensation alone is enough to send your skin into goosebumps. You’re still not used to this, Julia was always big on touching, but it was never quite like this…. never mind the past seven years either. “You sure you want to stay clothed?” She grins.

You chew your lip. This is the trouble with temptations, take one and there’s another further down stringing you along. Stick to your guns. “Clothes on or lights out, those are your options.”

She runs her hand against your face, brushing back your hair bringing memories of nights spent braiding that no longer seem quite so innocent in hindsight. “I _do_ like seeing your pretty face.”

“What? No it’s not.”

“Of course it is.”

“Stop that.”

“Who’s got the rope here?” There’s a sharp tug of the rope and she pulls you forward into an embrace. One that quickly turns into an excuse to grab at your butt. “That’s right, I do.”

You huff, try a different tactic. “Well, your face is much prettier–“ She slaps you on the butt, a warning shot. “Hey!”

She tsks. “Oh no, that’s not how compliments work. You want to try that one again?”

You lean your head into her shoulder, against her neck. “What does it matter anyway, it’s just words.”

Julia grabs you by the shoulders, pulling you away so she can stare you in the face. “You don’t believe me?”

You look away, can’t bring yourself to look at her. “People say things they don’t mean all the time.” You chew your lip. “It’s just another way to hurt someone.”

Julia runs her hands down your arms to grab your hands, an unreadable expression on her face. “Okay.” She sits down on the bed and pulls you down next to her. “Time out. We need to address this.”

You hunch your shoulders, a knot of tension worming in your stomach.

Julia’s voice is low, and you don’t want to look at her face. “Do you think I’m lying to you when I say ‘I love you’?”

“I…” You swallow, suddenly extremely aware of the rope you let her tie around your wrists. Suddenly it doesn’t seem so exciting.

“I meant it. It wasn’t a lie. It’s not a trick. I’m not playing a game here.”

“I don’t understand.” You manage to say.

“I guess I get it,” Julia says, she sounds a fragile as glass right now, and it’s scaring the hell out of you. “Maybe you haven’t seen how much things have changed the last seven years? Maybe you still think of me as that girl that flirts with anything that moves and treated it as a game.”

“You never flirted with me.”

Her fingers dig into your shoulders, voice strained. “Dios mio, yes I did! But I guess… you never picked up on it?” She loosens her grip a little. “And then after you almost– it stopped feeling like a game with you, and I couldn’t even guess how you felt, so I stopped. I got scared.”

“You? _Scared?”_

“I wasn’t ready to really think about what it meant, being seriously interested in another woman. About what that might mean for me, or how the press would take it. You can’t fight the news.”

“Says the lady who’s punched a reporter.”

“It cost me my job.”

“Okay.” You soften your voice. “That’s fair.”

“And I told you before, you can be a terrifying woman when you want to be Ariadne.” You feel your face redden. She has no idea. You hope. You hope she has no idea. “But, Ari… Ari look at me,” She cups your chin with one hand, you let her turn your head to face her. “Please believe me.”

Are those…? Is she… goddamnit, she’s going to get you going too. “You’re asking a lot from me, you know.”

“I guess I’m just selfish that way.”

“And an idiot. Don’t forget.”

“I never do.”

“Okay.” You take a deep breath, clench your fists, unclench. “I– I’ll try.” You swallow hard, willing yourself to keep talking, keep moving forward. “That’s the best I can promise. I’ll try.” Some part of you hopes you aren’t lying again.

“Ariadne…”

“I… I love–” You dig fingers into the leg folder under you. “I love you too, okay?” You blink your eyes rapidly for no particular reason, feeling the pulse of your heart in your throat. Another window jumped, fool that you are. You let yourself fall over, onto her lap. “You never give up do you.” Why did you just admit that? Have you lost your mind? You’re trying to _escape_ planet Julia not fall in further.

Ortega smiles, awkward. She rests a hand on your head. “I’m sorry, I swear I wasn’t trying to pressure you into saying that.”

You narrow your eyes looking up at her. Before you realize what you’re saying, you’re already doubling down. “If I have to– have to try to believe you, then you have to try and believe me too. That’s the deal. Okay?”

“Okay.” The way Julia is looking at you… You need to do something to distract from the guilt and regret welling up again.

You close your eyes, willing yourself to relax in her lap, letting her run a hand through your hair. “I love your hands.” You say.

Julia’s hand pulls back, hesitating. “What?”

“Your hands are beautiful.”

“And your eyes are closed.”

With a huff you open them again. “Now who’s being difficult?” You reach up with your hands –which you realize are still tied together from your your aborted… make-out(?) session– and grab at Julia’s hand on your head, pulling it into your field of vision. Julia’s face reddens even if her expression is unreadable as you run your fingers over and around her palm, trace the insets of the electro-emitters that give Julia her pseudonym. “Does it hurt if I do that?”

“…it’s fine.” There’s a moment where it seems like she’ll say something more, but then glances away. “Anyway, I’ve got medication for it.”

Frowning a little at that, you trace the path of her bones under the skin, massage the knuckles.

“…what are you doing?” To your relief she sounds more curious than upset.

“Any good techie knows to take care of her hands.” You say with only mild levels of smug as you work on her hand. “Take care of your hands, and they’ll take care of you.”

“Sounds dirty.”

You bite your lip trying not to laugh. The two of you fall into silence as you work her hand. It could have been half an hour or only a minute when you finally let her hand go. “Okay, give me the other hand.”

“You really don’t have to–”

You raise your eyebrows, “Hand.”

Julia lets you take hold of her other hand. Again, you gently work the palm, minding the skin around the emitters. “It looks like they’ve improved the bonding between the plates and the rest of the skin?”

“It has some give now so it doesn’t tear as easily anymore. Still, sometimes it feels…”

“…like there’s a voice in the back of your head screaming ‘this isn’t how my body should be’.”

A pained expression flits across Julia’s face. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound too far off.” When Julia doesn’t elaborate, you leave it be. She’s respected your boundaries about being trans, the least you can do is return the favor with her mods.

When you finish working her hand, on an impulse you kiss the knuckles before letting Julia pull back. “Did that help any?”

Julia doesn’t quite look you in the eyes, her face red. “…yeah. Thanks.”

You can’t help it, an incredibly smug grin creeps across your face. “Am I seeing the incredibly rare _bashful_ Ortega?”

That jars her out of it. “Shut up you, you have no room to talk.” She laughs.

You laugh with her, stretching your arms out over your head, there’s something bizarrely enjoyable about the pressure of the rope against your wrists. “I guess we’ve graduated from braiding hair, haven’t we?”

“I wasn’t aware hand massages were part of the nerd skill set.”

“I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?”

Julia laughs and runs through your hair. “Keep up that attitude, and it’s not the only thing you’ll be full of in a moment.”

Your cover your face in embarrassment as you go beet-red. “ _Jesus Christ,_ Julia.”

“Oh, _He_ is not invited.”

You look up at Julia through your fingers. “So do you want to… try this again?”

“Do you?”

“…I’ll probably end up crying like always.” You admit, voice quiet, “but…”

Despite the copious mountain of evidence to the contrary, you’ve never liked to think of yourself as an adrenaline junkie. But when Julia leans down, you raise yourself up to meet her halfway. Every time you kiss Julia is weird and new and sometimes uncomfortable and always exhilarating and you hope it never gets old.


End file.
